As you probably know (and if you don’t – shame on you!) Iron Man 3 was recently released. Being the nerd that I am (and I’m confident you already had that tid bid of info figured out!) I have been anxiously awaiting its opening.
When a new superhero or sci fi pic comes out is absolute tradition to go opening night – I mean DUH! That’s just a no brainer! And when it happens to be one of a series my most favorite thing to do is the opening night marathon. For the uninitiated, that means the evening before the movie is scheduled to be released, the theater sells tickets for a special screening where they show each movie in the series back to back.
Just pure AWESOMENESS! (And some of you said “stupidity” – I heard you!)
Yes I’m talking about you Marcus Engel.
So when I was talking about doing this with the recent Iron Man 3 my beautiful mother pipes up and says, “Oh! I love The Iron Man! I want to go with you!”
I was dumbfounded. I had no idea! So much so that I sort-of overlooked the fact that she said “THE” Iron Man (*a true lover would not say “the” in this context.)
me: Mom, are you sure? It will be a long night, about 9 hours…
mom: Absolutely! It will be fun!
Over the next two weeks I kept priming her on what to expect (and giving her a free “0pt out!”)
me: Now mom, it will mostly be guys. And most will seem like they are about 25 and live in their mothers basement. The theater will have a unique scent – sort of adrenalin, testosterone, and unwashed bodies. Some of these guys haven’t touched a girl so – you WILL be oggled but they will be very shy about it… etc. (Broad stereotypes I know – but enough truth in them to be worthy of mentioning!) We will get there early to get a good seat, and you have to be ready to applaud and laugh and high five etc…
Countless times she would ask, “why?” about this or that and my response was always
“That’s just how geeks do it!”
As it turned out, I was the one who had to back out of the marathon so we opted for the IMax 3-D experience opening day.
Mom was giggling. I was still stunned she was sitting with me at a Super Hero flick.
We arrived early enough for pretty good seats, midway up, middle section and sat down munching our goodies and drinking 2 liter cups of soda.
Then the previews started, and of course because of this type of movie the previews were all “geek” movies. I glanced at mom who was kind of looking annoyed. She finally whispered, “Why are all they only making weird movies now?” I assured her that these previews were directed at this audience and was not an exclusive list ALL upcoming movies.
After catching her third yawn before opening credits, I decided to text my sisters who have both been to the movies with mom more than I have. My sister Mary replied that I should tell mom she wasn’t allowed to say “ridiculous.” Not sure what that meant, I conveyed the message to mom who just giggled.
The movie starts – with a bang! It’s soooo good! But barely into it I hear mom (rather loudly) say, “That’s ridiculous!”
I looked over to see if she was making a joke and when she realized I heard her she quickly covered her mouth and said, “Oops! I said it didn’t I?”
Before the movie was over we had 7 “ridiculous”es, 3 “oh my lord”s, and 2 “that’s just crazy” and one climb over six 17-year-old boys to go to the bathroom and the resulting climb back.
Closing credits and nobody moves.
Mom: Why aren’t they getting up?
Me: There’s another scene after credits.
Mom: (Huffs) They aren’t reading all those!
Me: I know – we are waiting for the final scene.
Mom: Why are there so many credits?
Me: (ignoring her)
Mom: I don’t think that Gwyneth Paltrow was in the other ones.
Me: Yes, she was in all of them.
Mom: Why won’t they leave?
Mom: This is stupid.
Me: I thought you liked Iron Man?
Mom: The other one’s weren’t so… crazy.
Me: (thinking: uhhh yes, super hero – fantasy – sci-fi – those are gonna be crazy!)
Mom: Can we go yet?
etc. for the entire 5 minutes of credit scrawl.
Finally it’s over and as we are walking out I ask my (still) yawning mother: “Well, aren’t you glad we didn’t do the 9 hour marathon?”
Mom: NO! It would have been fun! I could have done it!
And indeed I believe her. She could have!
It’s my mother’s birthday this week. She is the most tenacious, ‘never say quit,’ up for anything woman I’ve ever known. She is beautiful and smart and loving and works circles around me. If you’re ever in a fight of any kind – she is the one you want on your side. Thank you mom for always being on my side. I love you and Happy Birthday!