So you probably know we have Garrett (the Ninja dog). However you might not know we also have another four legged fur ball that lives with us. Smooch is a toy schnoodle (toy poodle + toy schnauzer) that is 9 lbs of cuddly love. (BTW: I did NOT name her – and admit I get more than a little embarrassed every time I make a vet appointment or grooming visit and say her name out loud. I wanted to name her “Armani” or “Gucci” or “Ridley” – you know, something much more mature…) 🙂
Two years ago my mother got her first dog. A gorgeous Papillion named Rocky. Now, the first time we puppy sat he was about 2 months old and quickly earned the nickname “devil dog.” It was all normal puppy behavior – incessant playing, turning everything into a toy, barking like a lunatic and complete disobedience. Just normal stuff. However, his puppy antics frustrated the heck out of Smooch. She did not want to play, or even be “addressed” by this Tasmanian flurry of fluff that was obsessed with gaining her attention.
Over the years Rocky has become a lovely, beautifully behaved dog. He’s really a pleasure to be around. So when I agreed to puppy sit a few weeks ago I knew it would be smooth sailing.
This time it was Smooch, not Rocky, that became a pain.
Every time I picked Rocky up, Smooch would worm her way in between us. She didn’t want him near her den (kennel). She didn’t want him on the bed. She didn’t want him on my lap. She didn’t even seem to want me to acknowledge his existence at all.
This precious little girl dog that I adore and lavish with love was acting so very insecure and jealous. After years of her being the princess, her place totally secured in our lives – she was threatened by a temporary visitor.
I finally looked at her and said out loud, “Smooch! Insecurity is so VERY unattractive on you!”
Those words have echoed in my mind for weeks now.
Who enjoys being around someone – even someone you adore – when they behave insecure, petty, jealous, apprehensive… No. We don’t like that in others. It is not only unattractive – it’s actually repelling and can drive us away. It’s certainly not attractive.
Oh, but how many of us have insecurities? Studies show that most all of us do – differing areas and degrees – but it’s something that seems to be human nature. How many times have you heard an actress or a supermodel say something like, “If I could just fix my nose…” (Doesn’t that make you want to punch them?? Or is that just me??)
And now the holidays are coming. And for many of us being around family, where we should feel safest, often brings out our deepest insecurities.
Despite our best efforts we often revert to old roles. We remember past hurts. We harbor old grievances. And all this adds up to us behaving in unattractive ways.
Now of course I’m not talking about putting yourself in a position to be abused – that is an entirely different and unhealthy thing! I’m referring to carrying around stupid baggage so old that no one else even remembers it. And man oh man can it wreck a holiday.
So while I go cuddle up with Smooch and take a nap (I still have mono – I’m allowed to nap!) I am going to have a talk with myself about ways my insecurities get in my own way – and what I can do about it. And I hope you’ll do the same.
And for those of you who have your insecurities under control and your self esteem firmly intact – have some extra grace with those of us still working on ‘stuff.’
As long as we’re growing – we’ll get there!