Four Boobs, A Crazy White Woman and a Couple of Camera Phones

Okay – tons to catch up on – and I will – I promise! But I have to tell you about today, our first real adventure into (dah dah dah daaaaah) the BRONX baby!

As part of Marcus’ graduate work, he will be volunteering to teach a group of the nursing staff at a rather famous hospital and community center way up north in the Bronx.

Having had such a wonderful experience thus far in NYC, I was really excited when they asked us to come tour the facility, meet the coordinator and of course fill out piles and piles of paperwork (it is a healthcare system after all!)

When the secretary emailed us the directions, I’ll admit I was a bit intimidated. I’ve certainly not become a certified subway rat – but I do know my way around enough to get to basically anywhere I wanna go! (ie: best food joints, best shopping, the naked cowboy… etc. )

But this was something entirely different. And in addition to changing trains several times, we’d also take a bus (our first time to do that!) and walk – and walk – and walk – and walk…. Now, for us walking is just part of a day. The nearest subway stop to our apartment is about a mile and that’s nothing so when I tell you we walked and walked, rest assured – it was a LOT!

Oh – and of course it’s around freezing temps.  And did I mention the rain?? Oh yes, lots of slippery cold wet rain (well – as opposed to dry rain I suppose…)

Anyway – the directions we were given were ummmm….. not so great! (being nice here!) so we had to ask directions and turn around so much I lost track. 

BUT we made it!  Turned in all our paperwork, filled out more forms and were headed out the door when we were suddenly told two new bits of info:

1)   Marcus would have to get a drug test w/in the next 48 hours.  And they couldn’t do it at the hospital… (HUH????)  And there is no facility near us so basically – good luck!

2)   Marcus needs blood work drawn to determine that he actually had all the immunizations we brought the medical records in to prove he has. Sigh. This however can be done nearby.

So, off we go with our pile of paperwork in search of the lab that will only draw blood and not do the pee test.  We found it without to much drama, took our seats in the packed lobby and proceeded to wait our turn.

Now, we’ve been in NYC for several months, and really there isn’t a lot that surprises me – there is just so much diversity of people that what might look bizarre in another setting is – well just the city. And honestly that is part of why I love being here!

But once seated I began glancing around the room to the pass the time and saw the usual assortment of characters you find in most any waiting room at any hospital… and then I saw…. Well, I’m not sure of the PC thing to say… I’m quite positive this person was born male, but no longer dresses or behaves male. Nothing new in that of course – but what WAS sticking out (and yes oh yes I mean sticking out) were four, count ‘em, one – two – three – four of the perkiest boobs you’ve ever seen.

A double layer.

Two on top.

Two below.



And before you ask – no, this was not a fat person, no, it was not muffin top… this was intentional dressing to accentuate what, I suppose, so much money had been spent on!

Now, I know it’s shameful – and yes, I’m a bad, bad, person… but I really REALLY wanted to sneak a pic to share with all of you! (and come on – you’d look wouldn’t ya??)  But I couldn’t do it. The angles were wrong, people kept stepping in between us… all the kinda stuff. So fail on getting the photo. (boo!)

So instead I texted one of my bff’s (who shall remain nameless) to tell him what I was looking at.  I’m pretty sure he missed the fact that it was a male I was talking about because his first response was “yummmm.” 

You boys are all alike! 

Anyway, after doing our thing, we had accumulated 6 train transfers, miles of walking in the rain, our first time on a city bus, being lost and wondering around the Bronx, and were finally stepping onto our last train… almost back to our part of the world. 

Well, I suppose my shoes were slippery from the rain, and when we got onto the train I was busy getting Garrett’s tail where it would be safe and get all settled in and the train started before I was expecting it.

Next thing I know I’m sitting squarely on the lap of this young black guy who happened to be nearby.

I begin to profusely apologize… blabbering like I tend to do in such situations… when I realize that while I am saying, “I’m so sorry” repeatedly I was however NOT getting up! I was just sitting there – stunned I guess! 

He was quite gracious, and I finally got myself together and took a proper seat.

Within two stops I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes…. I was thinking about what a great story I had to tell everyone about ‘miss double boobs’ and this guy was probably going home to tell everybody about the crazy white woman who sat in his lap, wouldn’t get up, and in a few minutes started laughing like a lunatic! 

Ahhhh…. The things that keep you humble right??

And man I’m really, really hoping the guy across the aisle from me didn’t have his camera phone on…. 


About mE

living an adventure dreams are made of!! traveling the world with mishaps built in! why?? well, u have to read more to find that out silly :)
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