Mason (the worlds very most adorable toddler EVER!) was running through the house. I suddenly hear a gasp, followed closely by intense giggling and running feet as he rushed toward me, filled with delight to deposit his latest treasure into my hands.
A bubble wand. Perfect! He loves, loves, loves blowing bubbles and pure joy was written all over his beautiful face. My heart smiled.
I’m completely captured and grinning while he gently lifts the precious instrument and begins blowing. Nothing happens. He blows some more – harder this time. Again… nothing!
He looks at me in shock. I stumble over words to explain that we need the bubble solution to use the bubble wand – but of course he doesn’t understand that. He just blows again. And asks me to. So I do while landing on the only word I think he might understand. Broken. But of course it’s not – it just isn’t in the environment to do what he wants from it.
I watch as his delight turns to anger and finally disgust and he tosses the worthless object onto the floor and huffs away to find a better, more useful possession.
And a tiny piece of my heart breaks.
Now, admittedly I am
hormonal emotional. And yes, I most certainly realize plastic objects do not in fact have feelings… but something deep inside me splintered a bit as I looked at the perfectly good object so callously tossed aside.
Just moments before it had been at the top of the heap – king of the mountain. Celebrated and clapped for. Now? Left behind. Labeled: Worthless.
I instantly transported through time to the many moments that I felt exactly like that silly bubble wand (if, of course, bubble wands had feelings which – we know they don’t!).
I’ve felt abandoned. Misunderstood. Accused. Alone. Judged. Useless… and I’m gonna bet at some time in your life you have felt that way too. And it sucks. It more than sucks – because it can erode the very foundation of your self-worth… and we know where that leads. It’s not pretty and it’s not fair… and those labels can take a very long time to peel off your soul.
And then my ever active imagination took the next leap (because weeping bubble wands isn’t far enough…) 😉
Have I made other people feel that way?
Treated someone as “less than” because they were not meeting my needs at the moment?
Tossed them aside in my quest for perfection?
Bypassed another because they had nothing to offer me?
Decided they were not useful for my plans and purposes so – buhbye.
Casually labeled them ‘broken’ because their talent is not in an environment to be used by me, at the moment.
Therefore the judgement is : useless.
Oh it’s fun to be on the fan-wagon when someone is shining brightly. We all want a brush with celebrity and success and good times! YES! Sign me up! And if you make me feel like a rock star and tell me how pretty I am or smart or that you can get me a discount at Gucci – then come on in! You are my new best friend!
I think our heart shows a LOT by what we say and do when people are on the downside of things –
and when they seemingly have zero to offer us.
With a now completely shattered heart, I realized that the pain of being cast aside as ‘worthless’ was trumped by realizing I have, at times, been the one throwing around the labels and doing the tossing.
I never want to do that again – EVER!
But I know I will mess up. I will judge. I will overlook or not understand or miss an opportunity to bring healing and grace…
I will, once again, not recognize the value of someone because it isn’t displayed in the packaging I’m accustomed to.
And that is when I’ll have to offer those gifts to myself, pick myself up and try to do better next time. For now – I’m holding tightly to this bubble wand as a reminder.